So, where do I start?
Lets start by saying I'm really sorry to anybody who gave this blog their attention. When I first started writing back in 2013 I had every intention of posting frequently. This blog was the first thing in my life I felt really passionate about and put effort into. It comforted me in ways other things couldn't because as it grew and grew so did I. It made me more confident and happy and opened up so many amazing opportunities for me. I am still thankful for that to this day.
Who would of thought after less than a year of starting this blog I would of been nominated for an award with Cosmopolitan. I mean how crazy is that? A girl who considers herself a nobody and a bit of an outcast at times to be put in the spotlight among some of the best bloggers in the industry? I still can't get my head around it to this day but it meant the absolute world to me, even if I didn't win.
Come towards the end of 2014 and things started to take a turn for the worse. My moods got really bad. I was lashing out at loved ones and I just didn't feel like myself anymore. I don't even know what was wrong with me. I just felt like everything good in my life wasn't worth doing. Funny thing depression isn't it?
With near enough 6000 readers I put immense pressure on myself to produce high quality professional posts. But looking back at the content I'd produced I absolutely hated it. I hated the writing, I hated the photography. Everything I did never felt good enough. So I decided to take a break. A long break.
In that time things in my life have been a bit hectic. So I hear you ask... Where have you been and what have you been doing with yourself?
Well, first things first. After I decided to take a step back from blogging I split up with my long term boyfriend. This absolutely crushed me of course as the whole "its not you its me" line didn't go down very well and I was left without a real explanation. I eventually went on sick at work as my mental health was worrying and everything was getting on top of me.
Thankfully this was a really good time where I focused on getting myself better. I took a huge gamble, packed up all of my things and moved into a flat with one of my good friends. It was just what I needed. I instantly felt at ease being in my own space.
After a month of settling into my new digs I decided it would be the right time to go back to my job. It wasn't easy. I was issued a warning and to this day I am constantly trying to prove myself to them which wears me down immensely. Still, my job is what maintains me being independent and I'm not giving up that easily.
During Christmas I was starting to feel like myself more and I began speaking to someone new. At the time the thought of even attempting to commit to anyone else sent my stomach churning and I thought this new boy would of been the perfect match for a friend of mine. Jump forward three or four months and it turns out hes a perfect match for me. He has been so supportive and he is a constant reminder that there are good people in this world. So I guess that means there's a new man in my life. Go me!
Jump forward to now and things in my life have improved so much. I finally feel like I am ready to give this blog all of my attention. Writing is a real passion of mine and I don't want to give it up just because there have been a few bumps in the road. My aim is to just be true to myself and what I write. I don't care if the photography's a little off, or that I spelt "their" as "there". I'm not perfect and I'm not striving for this blog to be perfect anymore.
I truly appreciate everyone who read my posts before my hiatus and I will appreciate anyone who will continue to read them now I'm back. Here's to 2015 and a new start to blogging!
Thank you to anyone who managed to read this far. It was a very personal post to write. Any comments are welcome and don't forget to leave your links! :)
Photos & Words : Sammeh Williamson